Phase of life

How does it feel when you have:

  • not written a single line of code in last twenty days
  • not been online for last five days
  • been very sick last few days
  • been thinking to relocate to another city within next one week
  • missed barcamp-bangalore talk and fun, for which you were so excited about and got involved in planning initially
  • started feeling that everything and everyone around you are changing?
  • not followed a single thread in any of mailing lists you have subscribed to
  • not imagined things which are happening with you now
  • feelings of uncertainty but full of hopes for future
  • started avoiding too much talking to avoid others making you feel bad about your decisions
  • started believing strongly actions speak louder than words

That’s my state now. I don’t exactly know how does it feel? I surely feel weaker, disconnected, lost, alone, lazy and what-not.
Is it because I have been ignoring my food and been on coffee and sandwich for almost last two months? Is it because I really need a break? But then reading a part of an email from a friend confuses me more, these words specially: Confucius said, “everyday is a holiday if you love what you do.”
Anyways, I believe it’s a phase of life. There is always learning so am I doing in this phase of life.

  • The problem with “everyday is a holiday if you love what you do” is that software development is f’ing hard. If something is challenging, and you do it day in and day out, you emotionally invest yourself to solve the problems that are thrown at you every day. Part of what makes software development so fun is those people who like a challenge, day in and day out.
    Every single day having a challenging problem thrown at you can wear you down. You may love it, but with the insane amount of little challenges we have at even being successful at our job (OS problems, power failures, shoddy internet connections, viruses, spam, buggy tools, etc.) you HAVE to be some sort of a masochist to continue to do it.
    Granted, there is a sense of accomplishment from surmounting these mounatinous challenges. It certainly feels good and gives you justification for all of the hardship you went through.
    But “loving” every day that is fraught with really challenging problems is kind of a misnomer; only a software developer could truly loved to be mired in problems all day. Oxymoron, which can lead to confusing burn out.
    Take a vacation and eat something dude! That’s what I do.

  • >actions speak louder than words

  • Cheer up Dude,
    You don’t sound like Abdul I knew. Take charge of your life, buckle up and yes, stand by your decision. It may turn out to be a wrong one, but then we surely learn from our mistakes.
    Let me know if I can help you out in any way.
    Abhishek Kapoor

  • I’m not sure if i can identify with all of what you’re going through, but i surely can idenfity with at least a couple of them, for example “started avoiding too much talking to avoid others making you feel bad about your decisions”. It happened to me once recently, but i stuck to what i felt was right. I guess in anyone’s life, (s)he and (s)he alone is responsible for her/his decisions, others can only help a little. So as long as your instinct tells you that you are in the right path, it doesn’t matter what others feel/think/speak. I haven’t seen many people going after their dreams doing what they actually want to do, rather than doing something that they have to do (due to hazaar reasons). Just keep doing what you think is right, everything else will fall in place.

  • Jesse- You are right, there are too many things that sometimes you really get upset…But I love programming and very passionate, that keeps me happy and hopeful. I just need vacation :)
    Abhishek- Dude, I am the same :), it’s just I am doing thigns I like to do..Not things which I have to because everydone does that…
    Vijay- I generally think a lot, validate my thoughts before taking decisions. I know myself and I know what keeps me happy…But avoiding talking about my such decisions helps avoiding useless thoughts which pop up after talking to others :)

  • William

    It sounds to me that your at the same point I was when Jesus Christ was speaking to my heart, it was in this same type of valley in which I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour. May the Lord Bless you in the name above all other names, the name of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ whom all praise is due. God Bless you.

  • Hey… you seems to be in LOVE…. 😉 [kidding]
    Life mein aisa hote hi raheta hai!!! … Ther’s always happy scene after sad scene. [no more lectures to you!!! :)]

  • Well…. see the google’s ad 😉

  • Pandu

    Hi Abdul, as everyone mentioned you don’t sound like Abdul man. Common, it happens to everyone in the world. Life is like that, the best way is to accept as it comes. I am not a good philosopher or something, but I don’t want to see you in blue. Cheer up buddy. :)

  • thiruvengadam

    HI U should start writing a book , u are good in expressing ur self.

  • HI Abdul,
    I believe u have very positive attitude.
    But, in this situation; I can recommend 1 theory which i believe in…
    Theory of PUSH
    Pray Until Something Happens….
    Wish u good luck.
    Suketu Vyas

  • Anand

    Pass by my Home any time.
    I like to have a tea with you sometime

  • Hey Abdul,
    I am proud of your decision friend. Don’t let yourself down. Only few people can take such a daring decision. Things might be looking harder but believe me results will be fantastic. Just keep going… and yes definitely if you need any help give a shout I am always there around the corner, Cheers!!

  • Sounds Familiar!
    Everyday is a holiday when you love what you do. Play a sport that you love, my achievements on Tennis court pumped in my days big time as an entrepreneur. You learn it everyday that you cannot win always as challenges are like mixed bags of opponents. You win some you lose some. I love it when I lose, next day I have lot more energy.
    Good luck!

  • Thanks guys for your words…
    Shalin, Congrats for Tezaa launch…